Nope, I’m not joining everyone else this week in discussing the
Record Keeper. I think others have said what I believe on the matter (one by Roger Hernandez)
here and (one by Ed Dickerson) here. This week, I’m focusing on something that I think everyone
agrees on: marital fidelity. Last year I took a great class from Dr. John Nixon
Sr. and want to share with you all a few great lessons we learned that week
together. I thank him for this week’s post.
Sexual sin is not morally worse than other sins, but because
it has such a powerful effect on the whole person, it is more devastating. Sex
is dangerous when it is misused; it can destroy us body and soul. Recently I
have seen several pastors outside of Adventism resign from their churches
because of moral falls. How can we prevent these kinds of tragedies from happening in our own
churches and families? Here are a few tips to guard you marriage in ministry.
1)
Speak
highly of your spouse to others.
Never share your marital problems with someone of the
opposite sex, unless it is in a professional therapeutic setting. It is a trap
of Satan to get us to complain about our spouses to “understanding” coworkers
and friends so that though their sympathy we may be led to sin.
2)
Monitor
your personal spiritual life.
Conduct an inventory of your habits of prayer, Bible study,
meditation, etc. It is easy to neglect the spiritual disciplines, not intentionally,
but simply though business.
3)
Make
yourself accountable to someone trustworthy
Here one pastor shares a personal story on this point.
“Once
I was undergoing a time of strong sexual temptation and finally I called a
friend with whom I was having breakfast the next day. I said, ‘Please pray for
me, and ask me tomorrow morning what I did last night.’ He agreed, and the
moment I put down the phone, my temptation was gone. Why? I’d like to say it was
because I’m so spiritual, but the truth is there was no way that I was going to
face my friend the next morning and have to tell him I had sinned.”
4)
Regularly
evaluate your marriage.
Watch for signs of boredom and routine, lack of affection,
poor communication, poor sex life and discontentment. Read Christian marriage
books together, perhaps a worship devotional. Remember, marriages go through
stages of development and each new stage is an opportunity to grow in your relationship.
Don’t take anything for granted. Remember Proverbs 5:15-19.
5) Make no provision for sin. Romans 13:14
Know the things that trigger impure thoughts and be
intentional about rooting them out. Guard the avenues of the soul. Watch the
things that you permit to enter your mind though the senses. In this way, you
guard your mind. Impure thoughts have a cumulative effect on the soul when we permit
them to have entry. They eat away at the integrity of our spirit like the ocean
eroding the shoreline. Immoral acts come from gradual steps.
“A relationship can be sexual long before it
becomes erotic. Just because I’m not touching a woman, or just because I’m not
envisioning specific erotic encounters, does not mean I’m not becoming sexually
involved with her. The erotic is usually not the beginning but the culmination
of sexual attraction.”
6)
Back off
early.
As soon as you sense inappropriate feelings towards another
person, face it and back away from it right away.
“When
meeting a woman for our third counseling appointment, I became aware that she
was interested in me personally. What was more frightening to me was the fact
that I realized I had subconsciously sensed this before but enjoyed her attraction
too much to address the problem. Though I wasn’t yet emotionally involved or
giving her inappropriate attention, I wasn’t deflecting hers towards me,
either, and was thereby inviting it.”
Do you know what is the most erotic organ of the body? The
brain. You can be alone and project yourself into arousal just by the thoughts
of your mind. Our minds belong to God also. And when our thoughts are stayed on
Jesus, we have the power of His Spirit to live for God’s glory no matter where
we are.
”Finally,
brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever
things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are
lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any
virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” –
Philippians 4:8
For more on this, check out Proverbs 6:20-32; 7:6-27. Have any other thoughts on the matter that you'd like to share? Comment below!
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